D&D Logs

"I'm not an idiot, I have a CON of nine!"

This is just a pretty crazy section where I'm going to post up the antics of one of the current campaign I'm in, cause it's just... so weird... Everyone's playing some fairly odd characters, so let's see how this goes, ne? Oh, and I'm using MIRC chat names as player idetification. ^_~
* Some content of this page may be offensive to some readers. Just saying, yo. *

DM - Setra
Lysol the Bard (of pie) - Setra
Tux Remix the Barbarian - Neoblade
Kuwabara Is Cooooool the Ra-goo (rogue) (of Willous) - Kuwabara
Charlyn Hayz the Cleric (of pie) - Synchro

**a bar**
  • Lysol sings on stage. She's a Bard with 20 Charisma. She's turning a few eyes and ears.
  • Kuwabara sits next to Charlyn at the bar and asks for milk and nutmeg.
  • Tux lobs a mug at Kuwabara's head.
  • Kuwabara gets a glass of the best thing the bartender could manager... cause there was only a bull near by.
  • Char frisbee's a drink coaster at Tux, misses horribly, and pegs a newly arrived Paladin in the face.
  • The Paladin stalks over to Char after she raised her hand in admittance to hitting him.
  • Char drinks. Kuwabara offers the Paladin some of his 'milk'.
  • The Paladin gets sick when he finds out what the 'milk' is.
  • Lysol comes off the stage and asks the Paladin why he has things he shouldn't after planting them on him.
  • This Paladin is VERY stupid. The Paladin get's confused and raises a tumult.
  • Kuwabara tries to punch the Paladin, misses, and hits a wizard who puts an oil slick on the floor.
  • Char steps on the Paladin's face after he falls on the slick.
  • A bar fight errupts.
  • Lysol goes back to the stage to sing.
  • Tux leaps behind the bar and tries to steal the cash box. He's so intoxicated that he instead grabs a bunch of ale. He figures it's better than the cash box and starts drinking more.
  • Char sits on the bar and starts throwing glasses out randomly at brawlers' heads.
  • The bar tender notices Tux and advances on him.
  • Char swings her mace at the approaching bar tender, misses, and nails the mage who cast the oil slick in the face. This knocks the mage out.
  • Char brings her mace back for another swing and hits the bartender in the shoulder/neck, knocking him out.
  • Tux manages to steal the cash box and heads into the back to steal more ale.
  • Kuwabara manages to steal the Paladin's pants.
  • Kuwabara manages to steal the Paladin's shirt.
  • Kuwabara manages to steal Lysol's shirt.
  • Kuwabara manages to steal a bunch of nice items off of the unconcious wizard.
  • Tux finds a keg of something very blue, very gooey, and very alcoholically potent.
  • Tux walks back into the fight.
  • Kuwabara jams a splintered stool leg in the mage where the sun doesn't shine, as well as stealing his robes and spellbook.
  • Char walks over the bar, tries to jump onto the stage to cover Lysol up, but misses and falls into the fight.
  • Lysol hops off stage into the fight.
  • Kuwabara tries to feel Lysol up, but gets punched off and Char wrangles his head in an extra robe of hers and starts trying to drag him out of the fight.
  • Tux gets a keg snatched from him and launches into a berserker rage.
  • Tux gets his keg back, beats back several people, and runs through a random wall.
  • Char drags Kuwabara outside through the new exit.
  • Lysol also heads outside, slipping another shirt on.
  • Tux walks into a police station, bloodied and carrying stollen goods from a large riot.
  • Tux tells the police that the clothesless Paladin at the bar made him do it.
  • The police believe him and run into the bar.
  • Char takes the robe off Kuwabara's head.
  • Kuwabara lies repeatedly to Char.
  • Char somehow believes Kuwabara when he says this is only the second time he's compulsively lied.
  • Char tries to wrangle his head in her spare robe again.
  • Kuwabara dodges and tries to steal the robe.
  • Char pulls the robe back and nails Kuwabara with a 97% accurate kick between the legs.
  • Kuwabara promptly passes out.
  • Everyone believes that this is the first time Char's compulsively kicked anyone in the crotch.
  • Char eats pie with Lysol in the middle of the street over Kuwabara's unconcious form.
  • Tux walks over and Char gives him pie as well.
  • Kuwabara wakes up and Char pies him in the face.
  • Lysol ties Kuwabara up with some form of magical tape.
  • Lysol invites us all to stay in the inn with her if we wish. We accpet.
  • Tux binds all of Kuwabara with the tape except his nose before dragging him along.
  • Lysol and Char stay in one room, Tux and Kuwabara in the other; Tux stashes Kuwabara under a bed.
  • Char and Lysol hold a pie worshipping rite.
  • Tux gets invited over and they have a pie and blue alcoholic beverage party.
  • Kuwabara tries to get out of the tape, breaks a bed leg, and has the bed fall on him.
  • Kuwabara is trapped under the bed in the other room while the others pass out at the party.

    - End session 1 -

    DM - Setra
    Lysol the Bard (of pie) - Setra
    Tux Remix the Barbarian - Neoblade
    Kiri the Rogue (of pie) - Setra's brother
    Charlyn Hayz the Cleric (of pie) - Synchro

    **the inn**
  • Lysol, Tux, and Char wake up and decide to go check on the bar from the day before.
  • They find the bar burned, looted, and in a general mess.
  • Kiri is inside trying to find some moonshine to plunder.
  • Kiri dives away trying to hide from the party entering. Tux spots him and goes over to have a conversation about alcoholic beverages.
  • Lysol and Char head back to the inn to find that Kuwabara has vanished. There's a bedsheet rope hanging out the window... even though it's a first floor room.
  • Char questions Lysol if they should form a party with these... guys.
  • Lysol thinks she IS a guy.
  • Char unsuccessfully tries to convince Lysol otherwise.
  • Lysol and Char rejoin Tux to find that Kiri wants to join the party... and she worships pie!
  • Setting off, Char's mace, Kibbles, starts making sarcastic commentary. The party makes fun of it for looking like an artichoke. Craziness ensues.
  • Kibbles turns Tux invisible, gets throw in the air, and cracks down on Tux's head.
  • Tux decides to not mess with Kibbles anymore.
  • Kibbles somehow knows how to direct the party to finding Kuwabara, so we decide to retrieve him.
  • The party stops at a store where a crazy shopkeep sells them items refered to as 'DM Grenades'.
  • We head out to the forest where Kiri and Tux start a tussel.
  • Tux brings Char into the skirmish and a DM Grenade is thrown.
  • Char uses Kibbles like a baseball bat and hits the grenade. A chain lightning spell rips throw everyone but Lysol.
  • Char refuses to heal anyone on grounds of idiocy.
  • Kiri replaces her wasted lightning grenade and the party starts off again.
  • A green dragon blocks the progress of our hike shortly down the rode.
  • The dragon demands we hand over all our possessions. Tux runs up to beat it senseless.
  • Char starts dishing out many slices of pie to appease the dragon.
  • Kiri and Lysol get into 'battle mode'.
  • Char decides to join the battle, and in the spirit of giving it all her possessions, she chucks a DM Grenade at it.
  • The grenade flies very far off target, but bomerangs back and latches onto the dragon's hind quarters.
  • The bomb is firmly latched on and explodes with a critical damage, leaving a smoldering heap o' gib.
  • We take all the dragon's possessions while Tux munches BBQ'd dragon chunks.
  • Everyone decides to keep walking in search of Kuwabara.
  • We reach a cave where three minotuar step out to 'greet' us.
  • Tux, with his staggering Barbarian intellect, is the only one who can speak their language. They are quickly offended and charge us.
  • We break into a normal battle until the leader of the Minotuar... threaten Tux's keg!
  • Tux launches into one scary freak of a berserker rage.
  • Lysol takes it upon herself to guard Tux's keg with her bardie might.
  • All the minotuar are disposed of when Char hears a bell tolling... from the nearby temple of pie!
  • Everyone races off after Char for the temple.
  • Bounding up the temple steps, pie and cake is found to be thrown everywhere while sounds of battle can be heard farther inside the shrine.
  • Everyone (but Tux) realize that the temple of pie is under attack by the Order of Kake! **duhn duhn duuuuuuuhn...**

    - End session 2 -

    NEW! DM - Setra
    Lysol the Bard (of pie) - Setra
    Charlyn Hayz the Cleric (of pie) and Kibbles (her mace) - Synchro
    Takhisis Nightfire, Wild Elven Wereworlf (a fighter of Curser)
    Algath the Sorcerrer (of pie) - Kamui
    Haruto Mihara the Monk (of pie) - Neoblade
    Ironia Mania the Great III Jr. of Ironville the Barbarian III of Willous Jr. Exclamationpoint the Magnificent the Rogue (of Willous) - Kuwabara

    *NOTE: Neoblade just changed characters. Kuwabara just changed his name. I'll kill Kuawabara for this next time. Thank you.
    **the steps of the Temple of Pie**
  • Walking up the steps, Tux feels like getting a drink. Putting down his keg, it tips over and falls off the edge of the (incredibly and excessively high) stiars into the forest below.
  • Tux looks to the sky with an agonized cry and leaps after his keg.
  • Halfway down, Tux mutters, "Oops." Shortly thereafter, a red cloud errupts from his general place of fall.
  • The party continues on without pause.
  • A guard standing at the gates of the temple states, "I move for no man."
  • Char points out that she isn't a man and is allowed to pass.
  • Lysol introduces herself as 'No Man'.
  • The monk accuses the party of being worshippers of Kake after making his bluff check!
  • Lysol throws a fit and tells him they're worshippers of pie- the monk bangs his head repeatedly on the ground for his error before introducing himself as Haruto.
  • Lysol mentions Char has an unlimited supply of pie and everyone chases quickly after her.
  • Inside the temple: the alter (a cartering table) is laiden with cake, Takhisis is cursing wildly to herself, and Ironia is in the corner wearing a dunce hat while talking to himself/introducing himself to the wall. And there are worshippers of Kake abound!
  • Char flies in and is mocking laughed at by her opponent for her battle cry of, "BIIIIOTCH!" and Kibbles' "AIIIIYEEEEEE!!!"
  • Ironia takes two rounds to recite his name and jump into the battle.
  • Lysol casts Silence on the enemy mage who starts running like a pansy once they realize what happened.
  • Tak mercilessly pounds on her foe, errupting in much whooping and cursing.
  • Ironia starts talking to the Paladin of Kake and convinces him that he should donate all his items to him right then, and that it's mandatory.
  • This campaign has no respect for Paladin's, so his INT score is so sad that he believes Ironia and drops his weaponary before dismantling his armor.
  • Tak lunges at Haruto's opponent and starts groping him.
  • Algath bursts in through the doors of the temple and starts casting magic missile on all the worshippers of Kake.
  • Haruto and Tak wail on their opponent, Tak pouncing him.
  • Haruto relieves one of the Kake worshippers of his manhood, all other males in the area having to make a Fortitude save against shock /unconciousness after witnessing the act.
  • Algath comes in and glomps the unfortunate worshipper of Kake, effectively killing him and gaining a +1 proficiency in Glomping (tackle hug).
  • Ironia tells the Paladin of Kake that his Kake worshipping friend (Haruto and Tak's opponent) is actually a pie spy and that he should kill him.
  • The paladin believes Ironia and starts beating his comrade with his great Shield of Masterwork +1.
  • The friend starts shouting at the paladin and they fight.
  • Lysol chases after the uber pansy Mage of Kake.
  • Char casts Hold Person on the Mage of Kake- and succeeds!
  • Lysol catches the frozen mage and gets the hint that he wants her to grope him like Tak did th other worshipper.
  • Lysol flies into a berserker rage even though she's a bard and beats the crud out of the mage. This is only her first time compulsively kicking someone in the crotch.
  • The battle ends and the Kake Paladin tries to run away after Ironia tries to stab him.
  • Char tackles him from behind with a hold grapple.
  • The paladin takes this as an act of love.
  • Tak turns into a werewolf and starts cursing more!
  • Haruto baps Tak on the nose with his fist because he thinks the Werewolf is evil.
  • Tak starts cursing more!
  • Kibbles rams the Paladin up the whazoo just as Char's previously used GM grenade had to the Green Dragon.
  • The Paladin falls unconcious and undoubtedly very sore.
  • Tak lunges at Haruto with an intent to grapple, but that fails and she ends up biting him instead.
  • Ironia looks over the items left by the Kake worshippers and drinks a foul looking bottle of black liquid.
  • Ironia hacks up eighteen random items, not the least of which are several GM grenades, KuroNeko (of Trigun" figure, and a Sonic the Hedgehog figure.
  • Everyone now notices the GM grenade stand in the corner.
  • Only Char wants to know/cares why it's there.
  • Everyone gets GM grenades!
  • Haruto throws his GM Grenade at Tak!
  • The temple fills with a cloud of laughing gas!
  • Ironia throws his grenade and a Leprechaun pops out, accusing everyone of trying to steal his lucky charms before the gas gets to him and he passes out.
  • Tak throws her grenade at the Leprechaun and a forest pops up in the temple!
  • Someone throws the same one and a second forest pops up in the temple on top of the previous one.
  • Haruto throws another grenade and the surrounding mile area is flooded with ten feet of water.
  • Tak throws his next grenade at Haruto and all the water disappears.
  • The forest, cake, Kake corpses, and Leprechaun have been washed away.
  • The party gets over the gas and then realizes- the unconcious paladin is still there...
    - End session 2 -